Sunday, September 23, 2007

Ask the Bartender : Advice Column #7

(sorry I forgot to repost this for so long...)

Hey Bartender!
I've recently taken a new job at a new company, and I'm in the process of training my replacement. He's a very nice guy, but the more I work with him, the more I think he might not actually be able to do the job. His experience seems lacking in some pretty critical areas, and I'm afraid that things might not run so smoothly here once I leave.
Should I say anything to the upper supervisors, or just let it work itself out?

Did you just say you quit this job? I think you did. You need to let go of the feelings you attach to this place. That new guy- he'll sink or swim, and those supervisors- they hired him. You? You are on your way out, and should let it go. If the new guy can't hack it when you're gone, the company will figure it out. Maybe he needs some time to adjust, or is really nervous around you. No need to talk badly about someone who isn't going to cause you any harm. It sounds less like concern and more like second thoughts about leaving- look forward, and know that you'll be missed.

You need a relaxing drink to cheers to a happy new job, where the worries of your old job are far away. I'm suggesting a nice glass of Pimm's and Lemonade, garnished with a cucumber. Pimm's is a liqueur from England, a country who knows when to get in, and how to get out. It's a relaxing end of summer drink, from one of those bottles not appreciated enough at the back of the bar. If they hired someone who is that lacking, maybe they didn't appreciate all the things you did either. Cheers the second round to the new job, and all the excitement they feel about hiring you! You're worth it, and so is this delightful drink. Extra cucumber slices are for laying on your closed eyelids, while you relax.


Hey Bartender!
I just started dating this guy who is wonderful in so many ways. We have a lot of the same interests and we have a great time together. He's intelligent, sensitive, hilariously funny, and he treats me like a queen. However, I am slowly discovering that he is TERRIBLE with his finances. He doesn't have a credit card (not even for emergencies), nor does he have a savings account as far as I can tell, and he lives in a huge apartment that he definitely can't afford on his salary. I'm not materialistic in the least, but I do try to plan for the future. What can I do to make this relationship work in the long run?


Most people are really touchy about their finances, especially people who don't know what they're doing. Wait until you get to the long run to breech this subject, maybe there are things he's not telling you about his situation. If you aren't materialistic, you'll enjoy the good time and have fun with this amazing guy. Don't worry about his credit score until you worry about merging it with yours.

In the long run, if you find out there is no secret trust fund or amazing investments from his youth, here are some practical strategies.

1. Refer him to a credit card that you have and enjoy. Citibank rewards cards, like many cards, give you rewards points bonuses for referring new clients. Even if he doesn't want a credit card, you can argue that you want more rewards points - and then tell him about how useful it is to have a card for emergencies. Make sure you tell him not to max it out every month, and to pay the balance in full every month if he uses it for not-emergencies.

2. Refer him to an on-line savings account. Many of these institutions will transfer easily between your savings account and his already existing checking account, and have auto-withdraw functions to make savings a less thoughtful process. ING Direct will also give you a bonus for referring a friend, and give them a bonus too!

3. You are only allowed to be critical of some one's waste of money on rent when they can't pay it, or when you're paying it. When things progress to the level that you two move in together, then you can find a place which you think is cheaper for both of you, and in your budgets. Until then, sleep over his place and enjoy the decadence.

It sounds like he's not racking up debt, and trying to enjoy his life right now, with you. So while you're enjoying his lavish spending, I'd suggest you order a Southside.

This gin cocktail speaks of class well beyond the many famed stories of its origin. Pour 2 oz of gin, a muddle of mint leaves and half a lime, and some simple syrup into a shaker. Shake out the frustration of men who can't manage their books, who resemble lemons in the category of finance. Make sure the mint leaves bruise, but his ego doesn't. Pour it into a glass : a martini glass if you think the drink comes from the Southside Hunting Club in long island, a chilled Collins glass if you think it came from the famous 21 club, or a low ball glass if you believe, like many do, that great things come from poor people in terrible times- and that this drink came from Chicago gangsters who knew their rot-gut gin needed a refreshing introduction to the palate. Like this drink, we can't tell where your man came from or where he's going to end up, but we can enjoy it while the glass is half full (with a sprig of mint), and worry about the rest when the tab arrives.

1 comment:

darkbhudda said...

On the second one.

If he is terrible with his finances don't let him go near a credit card. I'm terrible with finances and have racked up a huge debt with credit card interests. You can push him towards a credit card with is directly linked with a savings account instead.