* I removed the image until I have time to photoshop blur some of the important information on it. check back soon.
Dear Aaron J----- N----, born on May 27th 1978,
Aaron, when I asked you for your ID, you said you had better things to do than get an ID made. You presented me with a social security card, a birth certificate, and some ID cards from various high paying jobs.
Aaron, when you went table to table shooshing the bar patrons, you didn't just piss them off, you cost me a lot of money as they left the bar. The quiet rule of the bar isn't for you to enforce, and was being followed. You were just drunk and being a jerk.
Your girlfriend's friends later claimed they don't like you. That's why I have your birth certificate, because they didn't feel like returning it to you.
Perhaps you should learn to tip better. Or at least write legibly on your receipt. I will consider holding your birth certificate at the bar, if you will consider that without it, you will have to take that time you didn't get an ID with, and get a new birth certificate, a rather consuming feat.